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Monday, November 23rd, 2009
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11:44 am - Lettuce and rain
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So ...
Friday, funeral. It rained, which I thought was good weather for a funeral.
Also, I got a reply from the academic I'm emailing to try and get an inside line on how to get a job in the department I want to work in. It's frustrating, as all the copy I can find about this particular dept goes on about collaboration and cross-disciplinary research being necessary, a generalist's paradise, you would think. Except they still write horrifically narrow and exclusionist job ads and then don't hire me on the grounds that there are other people with more specific experience. Well, of course there are, but they might not be have the breadth of experience I have. I think that no one thinks, hey, if we want generalists maybe we should write ads for them. I would say perhaps they intend to hire specialists and train them to collaborate, work across disciplines and communicate in different technical languages (by which I mean the technical terms specific to different disciplines), except I doubt there's a design behind it. I think that the ads are written the way they've always been written, for a specific set of specific skills. But what use is that if you're expecting them to work across boundaries? Surely you'd be better off hiring people with a provable track record at picking up the skills and the lingo in different and separate fields (ie. a generalist). I mean, you don't need a lab full of these people, but neither do you need a lab full uber-specialists, you need a balance (according to modern business psychology anyway, and I know that, cos being a generalist I've read some of that stuff -- see? Tis useful!). The way the hiring system works in academia, you get generalists only by accident, not design.
Anyway, so I'm trying to get some facetime (see, you can tell I've been reading business stuff) with a dude so I can try and convince him that he needs a generalist on his team. Or, at least, get him to help me get a job at this dept. Since I've decided I want in on this specific department, things have gotten a bit easier and a bit harder. It's easier as I can try and chat to people personally, I'm eager about the work and willing to do more than most, such as retrain to get into the dept. The hard thing is that I have to cold email and I hate cold emailing. I worry that all the academics are ignoring my emails and printing them out to laugh about them in the coffee room. I know, I'm paranoid.
Sigh. So it's taken me all morning to reply to the email and request to meet Dr. Whathisname.
Anyway...
This weekend it rained a lot. My tutorial was cancelled as my tuttee was sick. My night photography trip was cancelled because of an excessive amount of rain -- so we went to the pub and watched the rain drip through the roof (it;s a tudor pub). And on Sunday, it rained lots so I took some pictures of lettuce instead of going out. It was really for practice and I reckon this picture looks more like internal organs of a small mammal than lettuce, but there you are, that's art. I think. And now, I'm going for a stress-relieving run in the rain. I got annoyed and ran many miles last week and ended up aching for days, so I think I need to get my stamina back up. I should come back muddy, wet and hopefully more chilled out.
current mood:  anxious
current music: Arcade Fire
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| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
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2:27 pm - Tuesday of our discontent
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Legs ache from running. It turns out if you don't run for a while, then get annoyed and wonder why you can't run properly and push yourself, you ache lots the next day.
Arms and back ache, it could be running, it could be sword fighting. Who knows.
And my right wrist aches, I reckon that's typing.
Sigh.
I have a book on procrastination and couple of things I'm mostly not procrastinating on. I've just written a cover letter for a job, but I'm not sure if it's ready to send. Sigh. I also have to make final changes to the paper of doom and rewrite the start of my book. Double sigh. Still I am getting through it, mostly by writing this stuff down and ticking it off.
I have people to email at Soton, I need to ask their advice, but it's kinda scary to email a stranger to ask for advice. Of course, how can I know if I want to work on someone's project unless I can go and talk to them?
current mood:  achy
current music: Amy Winehouse
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12:43 pm - There's a lot of html in that one badge!
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| Monday, November 16th, 2009
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4:05 pm - Somewhere I am going to go
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/south_of_scotland/8361244.stm
All the other dark sky parks are in the states, which is far away.
Then again, I only went there last month, so I guess it's not impossible.
Still, I want to see the milky way, I've only ever dimly and barely seen it, I'm not sure if I have seen it, but I think you can just make it out from East Wickham open space if you lie in the shadow of the fucking street light that shines onto the park and let your eyes adjust. Also, I think I've seen it or at least a lot of stars once when my parents took us out to somewhere in the country so we could see the stars. And I think I've seen a lot of stars when I sat in a field in a national park in thailand. I also got my ankles bitten a lot.
But, I wonder. I've seen pictures of hte milky way on Nasa's photo a day and I've seen drawings of it in Japanese anime (does rural Japan have areas that are that dark? The characters are usually by a lake and up a mountain when they see the stars) and I've not seen what they've shown.
Anyway, I want to see the milky way properly. I wish for power cuts. The area outside my house is relatively dark, especially for a city (it would be more so if I could paint out the street-light). It's dark enough that walking down the stairs at night is a precarious affair.
I try and jealously guard my darkness. Why does everything some with a LED or status light? I have to run around my bedroom turning off things, throwing towels and dressing gowns onto charging lights and I've been meaning to put electricians tape over the light on the gangplug under the bed. (Yes, the glow bugs me).
On the one hand, if my house is dark, I can't see any would-be murderers and assassins that have snuck in? On the other hand, I think it unlikely that such people would be in my house, so why do I need the light? In winter I like to turn the lights down low, or use only small lamps/fires (in fireplaces)/fairy lights. I think it's to make a difference between summer and winter. There's nothing to tell me it's winter if it's light all the time. I don't suffer from Seasonal affective disorder or anything like that. I find winter darkness comforting, at least when I'm in my nice, warm, low-lit house, I do. I don't really know why I need it, but I do. I used to turn the lights out in my office at work when my workmates had gone. Yeah, I had the computer light, but if it's dark outside, surely it should be dark inside? I much prefered to work by the natural window light in the mornings as well and I used to just frown at my work mates when they asked me why the fluorescents lights weren't on.
Maybe I have a hithertoo undefined version of SAD where the sufferer wants cycles of light and dark that vary on the daily and seasonal basis?
current mood:  rushed
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11:20 am - Sword fighting, easy money and the art of procrastination
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So...
Shiny, shiny swords
Good things, we got to play with iato yesterday, these are shiny, shiny metal swords used for training purposes which aren't sharp and have been forged to make a cool swoosh noise when you do a strike properly (which I spent some time testing out). They are more dangerous than wooden boken or the wooden iato thingies (which make a disappointing crappy squeak no matter how hard you swing your sword) as the tip is still sharp and usable for stabbing. We use them to do Eii which is the art of drawing your sword (thats the translation I believe, it is really the art of drawing your sword, killing your enemies then sheaving it again) which isn't practised against people. It was well cool! The next step up is shinkan which are fully sharp samuri swords which are good to practise with if you like the idea of cutting your own ear off!
I'm not sure if I 'cut' myself. I had some marks of my hands that were itchy which could have been because of sword oil, but I don't remember catching myself on the sword at any point. I suppose it could have been the guard or something.
My flatmate was somewhat scared of these swords, I guess it makes sense as they were a step up in dangerousness, but I wasn't. I think it's cos I treat the wooden swords as if they are weapons. (And they are, if you were hit with a boken and full strength (especially mine as for feminist reasons I have the heaviest boken in the club!) it could break bones). Eii isn't even done against any one else. Also, I found that the moves were exactly the same really (other than my iato seemed to get lifted too high which might show that there are good reasons to use wooden swords the same weight as the metal ones) and the only thing that changed with using the metal ones is that I felt bound to point out to the others when they were being unsafe.
I thought about this, as I said, my flatmate was rather scared of the sword and rather put out that A. she was and B. that I wasn't. As blokey pointed out she was happy using a bow and arrow which are also dangerous and there's not really much in the way of training arrows. I wondered if it was because I had done more Eii than her and knew the forms better, so I only had to concentrate on not cutting my ear off (or rather not denting it with the blunt edge) whereas she couldn't remember the forms? Or was it because all that time spent in the chemistry lab where I wore gloves and treated everything as if it could give me cancer (as most of it could), so when sword fighting I treated the boken and iato as if they were shinkan anyway.
Anyway, yeah, tragically I did not get any cool photos of this. I now want to buy my own iato and I reckon I need a red suber (sheath), probably with something gothy on it or a dragon, and a red and black handle, that would be cool. And then I gotta get some hakima (the big japanese trouser things) cos I got stabbed with my suber when doing the crouching styles as my judo style gi belt was tied to loosely. And, after I'd tied it tightly to stop that, when I did the cool move where you pull the suber off the sword after hitting someone in the stomach with the hilt, instead of moving the sword forward to hit someone with the hilt, the suber got stuck and I pulled the sword out instead, which would have cut my fingers had it been an shinkan. Ooops. I don't think I'm ready to play with shinkan, but then, I wonder why would would ever need to play with a real sharp sword? Perhaps for testosterone reasons, but I reckon unless I needed to actually use the sword for defence (and like, is that going to happen?) why would I ever risk cutting myself?
Easy Money
I met my tutee again and did the first session, I was mega-nervous actually. We went for a walk around the cathedral so she could take some photos and I could then critique them afterwards. So I started playing with picassa as that's what she has. (I like picassa, it has great black and white functionality, where you can pick an arbitrary coloured filter to make your black and white. This will make it quite easy to teach, I think, and definitely easier than making orange and yellow filters by mixing red and green channels or using photoshops easy-to-misuse custom black and white converter). She was a bit awkward at first, but I got her taking some photos and then commented on them afterwards. I didn't get much time to go through them, but I've persuaded her mum that we should have an hour and a half instead of an hour, and just like that my incomes gone from 20 quid to 30, rocking. Which was quite good, given I got the photo at the top whilst tutoring.
I enjoy teaching, and teaching photography is fun, also, there's no exam or syllabus, all I have to do is make her better at it and enthuse her, should be easy (especially as she's enthusiastic). Cor, if I'd known that tutoring was so easy, I'd have done it earlier! But there's always the faff, when can we meet, oh I can't do that day, and that's what normally stops me tutoring anyone other than family and friends (who I don't charge).
What else have I done?
I dunno. I went to London and saw my dad, it's been a while since I've seen him, actually. And, on a separate day, I went to London and saw my friends and ex-boss. I now have a few small changes to make to one of my papers and we can get it published in a special issue -- which is apparently good. As far as I'm concerned, getting it published is good!
And now I'm planning my life. I have some books on procrastination from a friend as I like to read up on it. I procrastinated on that stupid paper for ages and only did it by congratulating myself if I worked on it for half and hour a day. Still, that small amount did get it done. Now I have other things to procrastinate on, my novel submission that has lost out to NaNoWriMo this month, my photo submissions for a stock agency which I've not done (mostly as I'm not sure how to up scale the images) and even me reading reviews to pick which camera I want as a replacement.
Sigh. I think I know why I'm procrastinating as well. If I get my novel submission in, it can be rejected. And if I get my job application in, it can be rejected. Unsurprisingly, my photo submission can also be rejected. Sigh. I guess that's a fear of failure there. (Who doesn't fear failure?) Still, I got annoyed with (again) my flatmate, not very annoyed, more rankled, when she said that I tried a lot of things, failed at some of them and then moved on to other things. We were talking about something, either writing or photography at the time. And I thought, well, I haven't failed at writing or photography, or even failed at making money out of both, I might have failed to win black and white photographer of the year (I was long-listed however, which made me pretty damned happy), failed to place in the monthly WPS comp (I got a highly commended for the picture below) and failed to sell all my books (sob!) but that doesn't mean I've failed at photography or even making money out of it. Similarly, I might have failed to get my novel published thus far, despite having submitted it to 10 agents, but I don't think that means I should have to give up. I hadn't learnt everything I needed to know about editing, rewriting and generally novel writing, so why should I give up?
I wonder if people give up too easily. I mean, people have viewed my achievements above in a negative light (oddly for once, not me). Of course I was disappointed that my first attempts weren't inordinately successful like I had hoped they would be, but since when has that been the clue to give up?
I think attitude to failure is important. For example, my dad is worried about my brother C as he's just drifting through life. My dad reckons it's fear of failure and that my brother C would say that he has never failed, to which my dad would answer that's because he never tried. My brother G has his failures (or rather his failings), such as getting kicked out of his first apprenticeship placement, getting taken out of school (or kicked out), getting into trouble with the law, giving up his first business, but that kinda ignores the things he did after. Such as working hard at the second apprenticeship, getting a succession of jobs, some in positions of responsibility, and restarting (or starting a new) business.
I guess it's the same with me. You could say, for example, that my business ideas 'failed', but what really happened is that I got excited about an idea, wrote a business plan, did more research in the area and dropped the idea for various sensible reasons (profit margin much lower, too late to market &etc). OK, that's a not try rather than a fail, isn't it? I used to say that I'd failed at science once I got to the point where I decided that I didn't want to do it any more. Of course, I then forced myself to finish the PhD, so is that a failure? And you could say I'd failed as a writer as 10 agents rejected me (or rather my submission) as a friend of mine did when she politely suggested that it was a sign, but 10 submissions is not all that many. And, I think, they didn't reject me, or any writing talent I might have or even the story, but rather that state of my writing at that point. And, since then, I've made my writing so much better and seen so much that was wrong with my first submission. So, I don't think I'll have failed as a writer until I try a bit more than that! Of course, that means that I expect the Piatkus submission to be a good chance and on the one hand, I need to get it in before they fill up their books with similar stuff to mine, and I need to get it really really good. Which is probably why I'm procrastinating on it. It's gotta be quick and it's gotta be perfect! Eeek!
Same with the job, having now decided what I want to do, having found a way into it, at a local and specific place, what happens if I apply and get nothing, not even an interview? What if I piss off the academics I'm trying to work with? Gargh!
I suppose I know there's always another chance, right? But part of my problem and the problem I've had since school, is the desire to not waste any time. I am managing to see my unemployment as something other than a waste of time and, despite having come round to the idea of going back to science and I can see the break as something necessary to sort my thinking out and not just a delay on my career plan. Meh. I'm kinda feeling quixotic today. But that's the weekend dealt with and I'll just get on with working on all this things today. I've found keeping a 'lab-book' for science, writing and photography and writing everything I've done (with dates) is really good for organisation and also making sure that I do a bit on each project each day (or as close a possible).
current mood:  quixotic
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| Friday, November 13th, 2009
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9:42 am - November 13th
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No new NaNoWriMo. I am behind! I've never been behind before.
And no new pictures.
Still, I have been busy doing careers related stuff instead. I spent yesterday with the 'What color is your parachute' book making the little diagram thingy. I have learnt a lot about myself doing this. For starters, I'm still as bad a printing neatly with a gel pen as I was in school. Also, I can make my flower diagram look like a flower.
It appeals to my scientific mind as I now have a problem to solve. I reckon that the only solution is a portfolio career, which is several different careers at the same time.
Anyway, I'm off to London to see the Queen, or rather to see my old boss and I hope she says that hte last version of the paper I sent her is good enough as I've had enough of it!
And, hey, it' friday the 13th!
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| Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
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11:39 am - And, a picture...
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| Friday, November 6th, 2009
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4:54 pm - Meh ...
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Today is meh.
So have some photos, I got a pylon thing going on at teh moment:
Anyway, here's some photos from the abadoned military camp that me and blokey went to check out:
And a random:
Or two:
I realised that I hadn't done much photography recently, so I started uploading. Also, I've been keeping pictures back cos I didn't think they were good enough, but how am I supposed to get better if I don't play with my photos (and I don't play with them and look at them if I don't upload them to flickr).
Anyway, today was full of malaise again. I kinda felt in the mood to play with photos rather than write or work -- which really sucks. Sigh, yesterday's productivity is a shallow memory.
However, I now have someone to tutor in photography, and she like vintage cameras and vintage look 'soft black and whites' which is good. It should be fun actually, and, it turns out, twenty quid is only 4-5 glasses of wine, but a nice, crisp purple 20 quid note is not to be sniffed at when it's real and actually in your hands for an hours 'work' -- or rather conversation about photography with an eager and engaged pupil.
current music: Artic Monkeys
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| Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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10:45 am - Day 5 of NaNo
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My panel (this is obviously not a great shot):
The panels evening went well. People liked my panel and I was complimented on it and books. My speech was somewhat lacking as I hadn't prepared it and I really ought to have done so. I got a few laughs and it occurred to me that I am most comfortable speaking when I can make the audience laugh.
Tragically, I only sold two books which suck and I had to open two for people to page through. Why didn't more people buy it? I reckoned a 10% hit rate, 100 people in the WPS so 10 books to sell ought to be OK. Blokey reckoned there weren't a hundred people there, more like 30-40, but still. The thing is I can't ask people why they didn't buy. Was it too expensive? Didn't they like it? Would they have paid more for more pages? The book was edited down as was the panel (I had over 2oo images to choose from) and I was one of only two people picked out for praise even though I had a smaller number.
Meh.
And I have been mega-despondent this week. I've not heard anything from those two jobs despite my emailing and I'm not sure quite what to do next. I mean they have to let me know if I've not got it, right? Technically, I think that only K has to do that as he interviewed me, but as I had direct email correspondence with the guy for the other job (and am well-qualified for it) I think he ought to let me know if I haven't gotten it.
I upset my husband by talking about giving up. Giving up on what? Everything, I think. Stop writing, stop looking for an academic job, you know, just give up. But I'm not sure what I would if I did that. I wonder if it's as demoralising to not be able to get a job you don't want than not being able to get one you do want? It's nice to know that he believes in me, cos I'm not sure that I do.
So ... we went for a walk (to the abandoned military base and we discovered that, contary to the rumours, it was still abandoned and not a building site) and bought some stationary so I could try and organise my papers (now I have a printer I have lots of bits of paper) for my three 'jobs'.
I recently read an article about being a polymath -- something I would like to be -- and they called it intellectual polygamy and compared it to intellectual promiscuity. The former means you work in and love several different intellectual pursuits, in a long-term and committed way, the latter means you flit from discipline to discipline. Apparently you need to do the former to become a polymath -- which they defined as making a contribution to several different fields. The article then went on to say it was much harder to be a polymath nowadays as subjects are more specialised and have exclusionist vocabulary. They suggested that there were certain types of mind that were less appreciated today as they had been in the past.
It's funny, I remember looking at photos of women with the 1920s fashionable face (big eyes, cupid bow lips, jutting cheekbones -- you'd recognise it if you saw it), some women are just born with it and they had about a decade to make the most of it, then it's out of fashion. I always thought it was sad. But am I now in the same position, but intellectually? All that said, I am frequently thankful that I was born in this time, not an earlier one where the most that a women could aspire to, intellectually, was to have an intellectual conversation with a sympathetic husband who might have some room for action.
So, in the interests of intellectual polygamy, I did some writing this morning and uploaded some photos. One of the people at the WPS did a year of doing a picture a day, I've done something similar before, but never seriously so I might start doing that (in December!). I would do it if I had a job and left the house more often, but maybe that's just an excuse. And after yoga I'm going to work on my papers and some editing. I wonder if I might overstretch myself, however.
This evening I have a thing. I hate things like this. I suggested a pub trip for the NaNoWriMos and someone else organised a write-in on the same day and I didn't know what to do. I'd rather drink, chat and socialise than actually write (but the writing is hte point of NaNo) so I waited and most people went for the write-in so I guess I'll head along to that. Sigh. It's in bloody Stirling.
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| Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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1:57 pm
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Gargh!
Day 2 of Nano and I wrote about 600 words, a slight error in addition. Now I've built a spreadsheet to do the maths for me and I've got to catchup a lot! I went to the Hyde Writer's Group and met all the nice people there. The English teacher was back and asking people 'why' they wrote stuff, for example, someone wrote a ghost story with a twist and she's like 'why did you write this?' Well, obviously as a cool hallowe'en short story, duh! Why did you write a poem about a bishop? I think she was less than impressed with my point that at first skim (not even a read) of her poem the words 'Bishop', 'river' and 'queen's head' stood out, so obviously I thought it was a poem about pubs! (the bishop is a pub in Winchester next to the river). She gave me a look of complete befuddlement.
Anyways, so I read my crappy chapter 2, as I wanted to know if my plot exposition was too much. In my mind it made perfect sense that K. was telling my MC stuff as that was his job, but to the reader I think it looks like the 'someone explains how everything works' motif that really shouldn't be in a book. Sigh. And, it occurred to me that I had K explaining 1. the biology of the vampires; 2 where a particular vampire had been and why, whilst the MC was interrupting with a voice over to explain A. Kenji's past, B. the biology of vampires and C. her past. I think it was exposition overload. I may grind up that chapter and fire it into the heart of the sun and let my readers guess what the hell's going on.
Still, the writers group was fun and I wish we met every two weeks rather than once a month as they're all cool and very helpful. And, at some point, I'll have to bring a poem to show that I don't just write sci-fi/horror or whatever the hell they think I'm writing. That or I'll bring in some of the family drama scenes from that book to confuse them.
Anyway, so tonight I'm showing my panel to the Winch. photo soc and hoping to flog a couple of copies of this:
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/914315
Here's hoping.
And, I'm trying to write some words for NaNo 09, this is book 7, so if someone wants to publish book 6 and they ask for a two book deal I can say I've drafted the next book (hah ha hah hah!). For ages I've been editing and wanting to write and now I can write I don't know WHAT to write. And I have a detailed plot outline and everything and, even more shocking, I've not lost it. Although my detailed plot line does include things like 'cool action scene in here' and 'Some sort of actiony thing'. Still, I have an ending, which is a start, or rather it's opposite!
Phew. But from tomorrow maybe I'll have more time for NaNo? And my paper when I get my notes back from my husband who ran off with them.
current mood:  bouncy
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| Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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1:41 pm - GARGH! (again)
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No. of jobs at Soton: 51, no. worth applying for: 0
No. of post-docs in the south-west: 11, no. I can apply for: 0
No. of post-docs in the south-east: 35, no. I can apply for: ... 0
Why are there so few post-docs?
So today I am procrastinating on NaNoWriMo. It's day 2, I've decided that my book is awful and crappy and yesterday wrote some stupid scene ... argh! On the plus side, my kitchen is now clean. But then, I've viewed that as a positive, it won't stay like that.
So I've been getting my panel sorted for tomorrow, here's part of it, cos I think these three work as a tryptich and I thought I'd try showing what mounted prints look like. I did almost have a better arrangement, as I had 8 photos and if I got one blown up and found another photo then I could have had a cool wheel design. But I didn't. Blokey was like 'why aren't you bothered' as I couldn't be arsed to run off to jessops and get more done. But, the point of the panel thing was to show some of my pictures and head people towards the book I want to sell (which is in the fed-ex truck so I'm not leaving the house in case they turn up. This means I can't wash my hair as the bloody shower's broken and I was going to shower and sauna at the gym, hell I can't even bathe as I can't answer the door to the fed-ex guy naked -- I'd get my books wet!) To get an LRPS if I could afford it, I need more than 9 piccies and anyway, my panel is a work in progress ahead of the book.
Tonight is writer's group so other people can crit my crappy chapter two from the book I'm trying to get published.
I was feeling quite despondent the other day so I spoke to some of my friends, hoping they might cheer me up/support me a bit. Instead they told me to go and get a job. Sigh. Now I'm sure that I could get a job if I decided to try for any job that needed my skills rather than going for a post-doc (in anything at a university I can physically reach) but that would kind of defeat the point. Then I could be occupied working for someone else and feeling maudlin that I'm not progressing with my ideas rather than working on my ideas and maudlin about it... Not better in my opinion, more socially acceptable, perhaps. That said, how long am I going to hold out on the academic career before giving it up?
I don't really know the answer to that question, to be honest. I guess something should eventually force my hand. Instead, I feel rather ... strange, I suppose I need a better word there. I travelled recently and I felt that there's this big old world full of people and things and I felt like I didn't really have a place in it. I felt that if I had a job/career I could travel as a holiday and have a place, I could, for example, 'an accountant on holiday' rather that just me somewhere else than Winchester. I suppose I could have called myself a writer doing research or a unemployed scientist on a break, but somehow I didn't quite believe it and maybe no one else did either.
Gargh, I am maudlin today. I should point out that after chatting to my friends who didn't understand that I'm not trying to get a job to get money but to get a post-doc to start an academic career, I chatted to some other friends who were encouraging. That's just in case they read this. Heh.
My problem is that on some deep level I still believe in fate. Iain Banks wrote in his recent book (Transition) something like teenagers think that bad things won't happen to them and that people who join the military are infantalised in that they believe that whilst others might get injured or killed they won't. It's true, it's very hard when you're a thinking, breathing, living person who seems so significant (at least to yourself and if you're lucky the people around you) to realise that bad things might happen to you. Statistics will show you that this is true, but who believes statistics? To believe them you first have to believe that you're one of 'everyone else', to whom shit might happen.
So, yeah, I still have some related ideas, I don't think I'm bullet-proof or anything, but I have similar problems of thought. I think I truly believe that is something is hard to do, but I keep trying, eventually it'll pay off and be worth it. Is this true? If true, how can the world contain bizarre contrivances of fate where the one job I have a really good chance of getting is the one job that my paperwork gets lost on?
Meh.
Of course on the other hand, if perseverance is necessary for success, and a little self-deception makes you persevere more than you would otherwise, it can't be that bad, surely? Hmm...
Anyway, yeah, the other thing is, if you try and do something a little out of the ordinary (like try to get a job you might want rather than one that will just pay the bills) then, I think that after a while it becomes increasingly difficult to go back to the lie and insert yourself in a 'normal' job and say 'this is the only way things can be done, to try otherwise is a stupid dream' as you know it's not true and can't even delude yourself properly...
current mood:  somewhat maudlin
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| Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
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3:50 pm
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Today, I feel a bit better, I have dealt with my work related emails that were sitting there blinking in my inbox, I've sorted out the panels program and even written my contribution, I've put some photos up on facebook, I've even read some job adversts and I've made a photobook to try and flog at the WPS. Now, I'm printing off my first three chapters of my novel to try (yet again) to see if I can make them better. After that there will be sorting out the package and for some reason that I think is related to me sorting out the job emails, I feel less scared about doing that. Although I did feel scared, what if I send it off too early and it bounces back at me, then what? And, what if I send if off too late and no one wants what I write??? Argh! Anyway, I'm cool, I can sort it, it always comes down to small steps in the end and today I am going to look at making the first three chapters better. I think they're there actually, I'm at the stage where successive readers starts trying to undo the things I put in on hte last read, which I guess means that my manuscripts circling around the best it can be. Of course, after that's sent off I have to do the same treatment to the rest of the book.
And then, I've got to finish those stupid papers that I nearly had finished before my holiday, I can start working on that tomorrow, along with tidying (!) and filing (!) all my stuff. You see, if you're going to try and contribute (in the hope of money) to two careers and a hobby, you need to be pretty organised. And, this post, is really an organisational one, mostly for me. I think I'm nearly re-ambiated in my world and perhaps ready to start doing something with my time. To be honest, until today I wasn't really well enough to do anything and most of today has been administration stuff, still, it's a start.
November will be interesting, I think. There's NaNoWriMo for a start and I'm not the ML this year, but I have this feeling that I might end up acting like one as there doesn't seem to be one for the area, but there are a lot of local creative writing students and alumni who've signed up this year, so I would like to meet them. And I'll be editing book 7 as well. Hopefully I will have book 6 and my papers sent off during that month as well and you never know, I might get one of these bloody jobs I'm trying to go for.
Anyway, here are two funky pictures I made. I think I like bad weather, it makes beautiful photographs.
current mood: awake
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| Monday, October 26th, 2009
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4:09 pm - I'm back, almost fully!
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So, this could be a very large post, or it could be small, depending.
A lot has happened and I've learnt a lot. So where to start?
I shall start with this weekend, even though it is probably the least interesting bit as it allows me to post this picture:
Tis me and I quite like this photo even if I look rather gormless, probably cos I look thinner than I last was when I wore that dress. What the photo doesn't show is that I was utterly exhausted and ill with a yukky cold. I managed to hide it rather well as my in-laws didn't even noticed until Sunday. Meh. Still, I got to dance with my husband, which is cool.
The week before that was spent, literally, in bed sick with a cold. Because of the week before that where I was at the Cheltenham Literary Festival being a volunteer. And the week before that I arrived back from the states, spent a night at home, then went on to Cheltenham with my jet-lag intact. And the week and a half before that I was in the states, visiting everywhere (it seemed) and eating a lot of fish/crab and lobster. And taking shots like these:
New York
Washington
Shenandoah National Park, Virginia
That's it for photos at the moment, I've decided that I hate all my photos. Oh, and my DSLR broke completely whilst I was out there. It got wet, then it got cold and then it broke so I had to use my point and shoot for the whole trip.
Now, I've lived in America for three months, so I really didn't expect to get any culture shock, but somehow I did. I was fine in Virginia, but in all the big cities we visited, like Baltimore, New York, Washington and Boston I found I was just stunned by the size of the buildings. (Well, I did live three months in West Virginia, and in a small town rather than a big city so I guess it's not all that surprising). New York was fantastic, it's like London but in a parallel universe, things are familiar, but oddly different. I felt that about MIT as well, afterall, had I been born American and nothing else had changed, I would have grown up in New York, not London, and studied at MIT not Imperial. But it was weird, I wandered around MIT and it reminded me of IC, the same functional and crappy architecture, enlivened only by a statement ultra modernistic building, the same geeky students, yet I didn't know a single person there. I think this was why I found New York and MIT stranger and more of a culture shock that Tokyo, I expected Tokyo to be a big city full of Japanese people and culture, both New York and MIT were similar enough to London and Imperial that the fact that they weren't was just weird.
Still I love New York's architecture and it's tall buildings and the 1920's style modernism all over the place, it was cool.
Anyway, I'll probably chat more about America once I start posting the photos.
After America, there was the Cheltenham Literary Festival. That was interesting. I wasn't 100% why I was volunteering, I think that it was literally because I've not got a job and it's been so awful trying and not getting one that it was worth it for the novelty having to get out of bed at 7.30 to go to work! Whilst I was there, I settled on the reason for volunteering that was, 'I'm volunteering so I don't have time to think about why I'm volunteering'. It might seem a strange thing to talk about, but people did ask why I was doing it. My favourite one was one guy who asked me how volunteering at a literary festival would get me a job in Science. Answer: it wouldn't, obviously.
So why might I have done it?
To fill a hole in my C.V.,
to show that I could turn up to 'work' everyday, to show I'm responsible,
to learn about event management before assisting an event photographer (the reason I gave for doing it, this was when my FIL was thinking about being an event photographer),
to network with authors/agents & publishers (the reason my husband gave my in-laws),
to get away from my darling husband (!),
to attend the festival for free.
Most the volunteers were new grads who seemed to be volunteering because they couldn't get a job and need CV fodder and experience, or they had a desire to break into arts management. I figured out main reasons for me to do it was for the craic (fun of it). Really, it was all about getting experience of something different. It strikes me as odd that if you're 18 then doing something like volunteering or getting a job unrelated to your career choices is 'experience' and thus good, but when you're 28 it's odd. Perhaps people expect 28 year olds to know what they're doing with their lives and not go a volunteer to act like a student again.
And it was like being a student again. Job wise, it was like working as a concert usher again, and, after work we (the volunteers) all went out drinking which was fun. I discovered that I could drink 'til 1am or 2am and then still be up, washed and breakfasted and ready to start 'work' at 8.30am. Rocking. These things need to be tested from time to time, I feel.
Anyway, even if I'm not sure why I did it, I think I'll probably go back next year.
So what did I do? Well, there was customer service. I reckon you should never hire someone to do customer service if you've not seen them do it after only 4 hours sleep, if they can smile under those circumstances,, they can handle anything! Not that we needed to deal with much in the way of problems, the festival itself was really well organised.
It's quite weird being a volunteer and, I am sure, quite odd to organise. As an organiser, you have an eager workforce, who will work for cheap (not free, as we were given food and lodgings), who might well be in for a shock (like the lawyer who was volunteering as a 'working holiday' and who insisted that she be given a single room in the YMCA despite the fact that she'd not requested one when we were asked, who then insisted that she was moved from the Y as it was too noisy and ended up in a room at the local brothel - he he he), who might leave during the week as the work got too hard/they got job interviews, who you couldn't threaten, cajole or persuade to work, who were trusted with the good name of the festival and who would tend to volunteer for the big name events.
From the point of view of the volunteers it was weird, if, like me, you tended to um take over and ... um ... politely suggest things (which is what little girls who were described as 'bossy' get civilised into doing), you end up with quite a bit of power and responsibility over the poor MotP (Members of the Public) despite not having any actual real responsibility or job title or anything. Heh. It's the magic of the black tee-shirt and badge that says 'STAFF' in big letters, I could go behind every door and explore every staircase (which I did of course). You can do pretty much what you want, (ish) and you can't be fired or have your pay docked as you're working for free -- it is a rather liberating feeling. However, duty and a sense of debt meant that most of us were there at 8.30 am and I'm sure that I wasn't the only volunteer who volunteered for more than perhaps they should have out of a sense of duty. I did have fun, as I said. There was a great sense of camaraderie amongst the volunteers -- it was like being a Uni again.
So yeah, anyway what did I learn? Well, lots of things. Firstly, to all those MotP, authors and hangers on who tended to blank the volunteers read staff, the young volunteers are not lessor to you, they are merely younger and earlier on in their careers. I wonder how many MotP make this error. It's not that serving lunch or clearing up coffee is the sum total of our abilities or aspirations, just the point we're at now. On the negative side (you mean that wasn't a negative?!) if the MotP wanted to find the 2 million unemployed who they read about in the papers before tutting loudly, they only had to look around at the volunteers and staff at the festival. I felt sorry for one of the caterers who had been a graphic designer and who had said that she wanted to do a creative job, but she'd lost her job in the recession and was now serving up slop-of-the-day to the MotP.
But I've lost my train of thought, so I'll continue writing this later, I think. I suspect it was the cup of mulled wine I just had...
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| Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
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8:44 am - Much to write
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So, I've been around the states for a week and a half, visiting places like Boston, New York, Washington, Portland and Shenendoah national park. Then, I spent a day with my darling husband before jetting, well, rolling off to Cheltenham for the literary festival. There's lots I could write about, but instead I came down with an awful cold and have been, literally, in bed for the last week. Anyway, now I'm off to bath for a family birthday (and dancing and drinking with masons!), so I'll write when I get back. Phew!
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 24th, 2009
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10:19 am
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| Thursday, September 17th, 2009
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10:32 am - Stuff...
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Hmmm...
So, good things:
1. I (possibly) found a part time job, teaching someone photography for their DoE (duke of edinburgh) award, which will actually be fun. It'll only be an hour or so a week for three months, but hey, it should be fun, be CV fodder and provide me with a little extra money. (Have you ever noticed, the poorer someone is the more they talk about money? I know I do. I also know the exact cost of things, especially things I want but can't afford).
2. One of the WPS guys has offered to print up my photos for me for cost, which is very nice. This may not end up saving me any money, as the temptation to go for big prints is nice (A2 print + backing board, 8 quid, compared to 10 inch print (4.50 + postage) and backing board (4 quid + 4 quid if you get it cut!). So actually it may be cheaper. Best of all, it means I don't have to buy backing board off the LB. LB is someone at the WPS and she sells everyone backing board and charges 4 quid for the board and 4 quid (or 4.50) to cut it for you. I order ~25 quids worth of board from her for the exhibition and I didn't feel that her literature made it clear that it was 4.50 extra to cut the board, not 4.50 including the cutting. (the cost for cutting was only a bit more than the board)). So it cost me 50quid for the cardboard to enter the exhibition which was all my christmas money. It pissed me off. Now, admittedly, it was a misunderstanding and I don't think she was trying to pull the wool over my eyes, but nonetheless and even if it is completely irrational, I don't want to give her another penny if I can avoid it. So far, thanks to my FIL giving me off-cuts, I've been able to avoid it.
Anyway, I'm probably not going to reprint my panel (which I'll show a mock-up of here at some point) as even as cheaper costs, it's more money. But I am going to find myself remounting it and printing out a few more pictures (such as the one above) and, possibly, colouring in some of my prints! It looks quite cool and professional however, even if all I've done is stick the photos to the board using electricians tape (I hope it will mean I can easily peel off the photos.)
Final point, I noticed that when I paid 20 quid (before I realised that LB did it cheaper) to have a picture mounted I won the monthly comp. Every other time, I mounted my pictures myself on the back of jessops cardboard envelopes, I didn't come first. I often came 2nd or 3rd and I wonder if it's one of those presentation thingies, y'know, powerful psychological messages inplicit in tatty paper and the like. Still, if MW prints my piccies, then I won't have that problem any more and it's really nice of him.
3. Not really good things, more ambiguous things. But I volunteered myself to sort out the program for the panel evening. My job is hounded the others for a 100 word bio + description of their panel, editing it, getting photos and then passing it to MW for DTPing and printing. Fuck knows why I volunteered for that, or why I htink its a good thing, it's extra work! But, it's kidna fun, I guess. And, we're thinking of exhibiting the piccies as an exhibition, so I guess it's a good thing for me to learn.
4. I found out that the Hyde Tavern will let people show piccies for free & not take any of the takings for selling them! Maybe I should host a pub-bound exhibition? I need some cheap frames perhaps. Or can I use MW's printing method to sell those photos?
5. I got promoted from the beginners class to intermediate class for the competition. Now people won't tell me that I'm too good and should be in the intermediate class. It was kinda true, cos beginners class is for people who are still learning. But I was still a beginner, having only recently taken up the hobby and I'd never entered comps before, so fair's fair. Still, the judges would say some of the beginners piccies could have been in the intermediate or advanced (there seems to be little difference between the two) which is true, but there are people who are good but inexperienced. (And often, the people who produce really good stuff in the beginner's class, fail to do it each month -- myself included). Still, I'm not sure I get club photography, it is a specific genre of photography, aimed at people who understand, which is why photos that would be found boring to a non-photographer (abstract interplays of light and shadow for example) are enthused over in the club. Still, club photographers like to put up nice photos (and oddly, people enter what I would call stock photos into comps and I wonder why. I mean, stock photography is a way of making money, the photos are nice, clean, convey their subject, but they have no soul, so what's the point? Why not just sell the photo and enter art in the competition???) Anyway, club photographers like to put in prints, then send winning prints into other competitions and to 'play' against other clubs in a 'league'. This utterly bemuses me. They then say, 'this print's done well for me' then list what is won/was entered into. But I want to bring in new work each time, so I've avoided entering things into the monthly comp and other comps. In fact after winning and placing with two Japanese photos I decided not to enter any more Japan photos as, we'd seen that.
Anyway, the panels group is supposed to be breaking the tyranny of judges being after 'impactful' pictures. Often judges don't get what you're trying to do. I wondered at the judge who saw my photo, which nicked a style seen in adverts for things like Diesel (the clothing brand), Louis Vutton & stuff like that who judged the photo as if I was trying to do a standard well lit portrait and not a modern high key style. OK, maybe a judge doesn't read Vogue (but he should if he's judging photography) but Venture Photos, a brand available on almost any high street, makes its money doing 'modern, clean, high-key portraits'. Judges -- meh. They don't understand my art! Which is why I have one and I have come bottom in competitions with similar stuff.
Anyway, I'll be entering lots of subtle B&Ws this year. I wonder, if (when?) I start winning (or at least placing with them) lots of people will start imitating my style as lots of people imitate MW's style. I reckon the way to do well is to experiment, yes, copy others to learn, yes, but develop your own vision and stick with it. Afterall, you'll only ever be a second-rate imitation of someone else, but you can be a first-rate version of yourself. This is why I don't try and write like Stephen King or Anne Rice, despite liking their styles.
6. I found another job to apply for, it looks pretty much perfect. They want someone with my skills and background and it's based in Soton. Rocking! I've scribbled down a letter, but I'm letting it ferment in the bowels of the computer for a bit longer, afterall, you only have one opportunity to make a first impression and an eager 'woo, you wnat me!' letter ain't gonna cut it. Of course, what if this job is better than the IC job but I get offered the IC job first! ARgh! 'Cept, better a job than no job.
Still that could involve a very hard decision. If I get offered the IC job, I'll think, well I expected to get offered that and I expect to get offered the Soton job, so even if I've not heard perhaps I should wait... But I don't want to be stupid and have no job. Plus I don't know which job is better. So ... another list!
Ads of IC job:
1. Spend time in London with friends easily
2. Can work from home so commute is acceptable
3. if working from home is acceptable, it might be easy to keep this kind of work and start a family at some point in the future
4. Theoretical work, which I'd like to go back to ... I think
5. Travel opportunities to states + deutschland.
6. Will get management experience which might make it easier if I ever try to get my own group
Dis-ads if IC job:
1. Won't make contacts in Soton, would be hard to get part-time work at a nearby uni if I have a kid (and can't work at IC).
2. Could all go horribly wrong.
3. IC atmosphere might not be good for me.
Ads of Soton job:
1. Easily commutable
2. Very similar to PhD work
3. Moving into biological stuff which I'd like to do
4. Will make contacts at a nearby uni which might make it easier to work at part time
Disads of Soton job:
1. Travel opportunities to Oxford
2. I won't be just hanging around London so often
Anyway, this is all academic, of course, heh. Cos I might not get offered either job, still I'm happier that I have two realistic prospects rather than just one. And, I guess, if I take the IC job and am offered the Soton job I could leave IC (which is risky and rather rude) or turn down the Soton job which would not be the end of the world, now would it?
7. The sun's shining.
8. I'm going on holiday soon, then I'll be off to the lit fest which should be fun and, as a watched pot doesn't boil, I'll probably get offered a job during that point, right?
9. I'm going to yoga soon.
Bad things:
I've forgotten them. I feel a bit ill, but I think I might just skip out on the post-yoga swim, but do the sauna to try and sort out my skin.
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| Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
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1:47 pm
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Today, I feel optimistic.
It's quite nice.
Oh, and this picture was taken when the sun woke me up this Sunday and I went for a walk. My toes got cold and stayed cold and icy, so I now declare summer officially over. Still, I'm wearing my sandals and will continue to do for a long as I can get away with it.
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| Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
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3:23 pm
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So ...
Today I feel bad because I haven't done any work. But, part of my problem is, I don't know what my work is. I looked for jobs to apply for, so if its getting gainful employment, I've tried that. If it's doing photos, I've done that. I put together some prints for an exhibition run-through on Wednesday. I've written a few poems. It took two poems to get into the swing of it. For a while I thought that I wouldn't be able to write any more as I kept crossing words out and thinking 'cliche' and wondering how I used to be able to write poems. I think poetry is something from the soul and I'm not really sure how you can critique that. But I guess it must be possible, because the writers group people do it all the time.
Anyway, I've put the poem at the bottom of the page should anyone wish to read it. I don't know why I write poetry or why I haven't let the critiquers at it yet. Well, that;s mostly as I only see the Hyde Writers once a month and I need them to critique my novel submission.
Anyway, the work I've not done much of today is my paper (the old one) which I am supposed to be rewriting.
I need the paper for my academic career. But I don't need it to get a job (I think) although it would help. And I need to get my stupid novel beaten into shape so I can send it off and try and sell it. So which is more importent? Neither leads directly to money, both could lead to money and both are needed for my career ... whichever damned one I'm trying to do.
So, I decided to process some pictures as well. Sigh.
Anyway here's the poem. It's about a religious experience, I think. That is if you can ever say a poem is about anything. And I've now decided that its crap. And tragically, Its laid out with tabs and I don't think you can do that in html, without building tables, so it doesn't look right I'm afraid.
( poem with no title )
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| Monday, September 7th, 2009
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10:15 am
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So... September's started and things get busy again. I missed the first Winch Photo Soc which pisses me off. I missed it cos I was expecting them to send me a sign up form like they last year, and as they didn't so I thought the season hadn't started yet. They could have emailed me to remind me, the first I knew about it was when I got an email about lost property left behind from the first meeting. Grr...
So I gotta get some photos printed by the 15th or 18th or something to show them. I was going to make a photo book to try and flog for money as well. I think I might print the photos to fit the mountboard my in-laws keep giving me, thus saving money.
Ah ... money, money, money. This weekend I wasn't feeling too well, I ended up skipping my friends birthday because I didn't feel well and blokey didn't go because he was on call and was expecting to be rung up again. I could have gone up in the evening to go to my other freind's birthday and I still didn't feel well. The problem was to attend my friends birthday it would have cost 20 quid for the ticket, 20 quid for the comedy club, plus dinner and drinks and I need to save at the moment. So I ranted at my husband for a bit to the effect that everytime I meet up with friends in London I'm 20 quid down before the evening even begins. I could eat/drink more cheaply I guess, but it seems even sillier to spend 20 quid on a train ticket to eat green salad and drink water when you want wine. Meh. Still, had I been well I would have gone and arranged to borrow from Blokey I think.
I'm currently rewriting book 6 as I showed it to a friend at her writers group and she found a problem with it. Two problems actually and I'm really happy as the solution of these has lead to a much better book. The first was Clarke pretending to smoke, she thought that was naff and suggested that she might have an electronic cigarette instead. Which I'm quite happy with, as the character used to smoke and quit when she became a vampire because she couldn't stand the smell. Then, the first thing she does when she'd cured of vampirism is to light up again. I think a character like that would try electronic cigarettes to see if she could stand the smell of them and, as they apparently don't smell.
I'd like the try one, to see what these things are actually like. In fact, I might smoke them myself, except the reason I'm not supposed to smoke is the nicotine, not the carcinogens. I know, I know, cigarettes give you cancer and all that and they're addictive &etc. 'Cept I've never become addicted to cigarettes and I've given them ample opportunity to hook me, if that's what they want to do. In fact, I find that I prefer smoking a cigarette when I've not smoked for a long time as the effect is better. You keep smoking them and the effect per cigarette decreases and they just make you cough. The thing is all official waffle about cigarettes simply denies the existence of people like me who can take or leave cigarettes or Blokey's grandad that smokes a cigarette every day before bed, but no more. I think I could pick up the habit of smoking without the addiction, which is almost as bad as habits, if unwatched, can solidify themselves. And, I guess, if I was habitually smoking a lot, I'd eventually get addicted. I suspect my coffee habit had now turned into a coffee addiction. Still, it;s done that before and I've cut back before so that a cup coffee has the effect that five had before I stopped drinking it.
Anyway, because I suffer from temporal migranes (which means migranes located in the temple, not migranes where you have visions of the future or the past) I'm at a heightened risk of stroke. And in that case, there I things I should avoid that might raise my blood pressure or up my stroke risk, things like oestrogen, nicotine, shit like that. I mean, it's only an increased risk, but as I know about this one, it makes sense to avoid it. I'm scared of the idea of having a stroke, you can have a mind that works perfectly that's trapped in a ruined body that can't speak or move properly on one side. That seems awful to me. If I have to die, I'd rather not go that way.
Anyway, morbid tangent over, and other stuff. The other stuff C. found with my work was an introduction of a character that she reckoned was too long for a bit part character. This was easily solved by making hte bit part character reappear later in the book which adds a second Mexican stand off to the book. How many is too many? Still, I'm not sure that a two line intro is too long in a book of around 190 000 words.
I think I'm getting there with the intro now, I've started putting things in that I took out in previous drafts, which I reckon must mean I'm near the end of the editing process. I'm kinda scared of sending my work off. I've not given myself a goal to do it by. I know I should do it sooner rather than later as Piatkus want the stuff I'm writing now, but I need to get it good first. And, after my first attempts, when I didn't know how to make my writing better and it all got unanimously rejected. I think I'm scared that there are more creative writing & editing techniques that I don't know that would make my writing less rejectable. Who in the hell knew that removing -ly words (adverbs, I think) made your writing better? For example I had:
'I casually stepped out of the doorway, before turning sharply and sprinting down the street'
I changed it to:
'I casually stepped out of the doorway, before turning and sprinting down the street'
cos the reader didn't need to know that she turned sharply and it slows the writing down. I could change it to:
'I stepped out of the doorway, before turning and sprinting down the street'
But I don't know. I think the reader needs to know she does it casually, cos the people watching the main character aren't suspicious until she starts running. Editing, you spend as long agonising over the removal of as word as you spend writing 500 words in the first draft. Meh.
The thing is, it works. I took a scene and removed most of the adverbs and a lot of the 'I said's 'she said's and I found that the writing sounded much punchier and better. You've got to read each scene aloud to see the difference it makes, so I was spending all day talking to myself.
Anyway... I'm learning grammar. I find it funny how people of my generation (who weren't taught English grammar at school) can still be utterly dogmatic about what they think is right, without ever having been formally taught when it is right. I usually cleave to others in the question of correct grammar as I'm shit at both grammar and spelling, but now I've started looking things up, I've learnt that a lot of what my friends are dogmatic about as being incorrect is a stylistic thing, rather than a cut and dried right or wrong thing. For example, run on sentences (using commas when you should used a colon, semi-colon or full stop) aren't wrong in fiction. In other words, you can use them if they get across your meaning or the emotion of the scene. It's just they're not proper for formal English.
Anyway, other stuff. I've got a phone interview this afternoon for a job in London. I think I'll take it if I can persuade them to let me work from home 2.5 days a week so I can reduce my travelling. In some ways it could be a good thing as I would then be in London to see my friends and not only would I be able to afford the train fare, I'd have to buy it for my job. And I need a job, any job.
It sucks, this job I'm being interviewed for I think I've got a chance of getting as I have all the skills and experience that the job needs. Fine, right? 'Cept various academics at IC told me several things about academia. One was that if I took time out after my PhD, I'd never get a post-doc. Well, I've not yet got one, but the fact that I've been seriously interviewed for one, and failed for lack of domain knowledge, not a hole on my cv, after taking a year out proves that one wrong. The second thing they told me was that I had to leave IC and work at another lab, perhaps abroad otherwise I'm not as strong a candidate as someone who has worked somewhere. Meh. Except I can't get a job at Soton as I don't have the exact skills they want, but I can get a job at IC (or I think I can) because I have the exact skills they want. Each department has their speciality and their way of doing things and by going to IC, I know about their preferred methods and their preferred subjects (go on, ask me about cell membranes and liquid crystals, I've not worked in the area, but as everyone else does I know about it). In fact, IC's chem dept is working hard to be the first institution to make completely synthetic cells. Whereas Sotons ECS dept (who seems to be hiring more than chem or materials) seems more interested in making sensors.
Anyway ... we'll see about this job interview. I hate phone interviews, I think I come across a lot better in person than on paper or on the phone.
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| Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
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3:46 pm
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plv's journal
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